godpleaser

a life lived for eternal purposes

 

when one follows the Lord's will, he may go through a crisis of belief. we know that God is leading us to a certain direction but as you decide to yield to it, you ask yourself whether it is the right thing to do. but as you evaluate the situation, you would know that it is. how?check God's Word, see if you can get confirmation from the people around and listen to the promptings in your heart.

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i feel that i should not go back to university teaching yet. it eats up a lot of my time even if i am not in school. God opened my eyes to an alternative to help my husband in the household income and at the same time allow me to spend time with my son. being a housewife was never an option for me when i was childless. but when I saw NAV, i can't bear to leave him to just anybody to be taken cared of. it's not that i don't trust anybody, but i feel that my being a mother is an important assignment that God gave me to fulfill. i feel that i should spend most of time with NAV at least in his first year. work will always be there...there will always be an available position for me in the future but NAV's formative years will only happen once in his life and i want to see it happen with my own eyes...Oh how I love to be a mother!

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i think i am going through a crisis of belief  but i am hanging on. i am not holding on to anybody but ONLY to my Father who knows what is best for me.

Posted by: rbunsoy at Monday, November 24, 2003 | link | comments |

fulfillment of a promise...

this phrase seems to be trite but it is something that came over me so strongly. one sunday morning i was watching channel 51 (home cable; i don 't know what the program is called) and the message was so clear to me. if we try to pursue our own desire, we will miss what the Lord has prepared for us. my husband and i have been searching for a house to move into and we set a workable budget for it. we checked a couple of prospects but i didn't have peace in all those we've seen. i always felt that we can get something better and more conducive for Nav. one of our ninongs has a passable-posh condominium unit and we asked him (through my mother-in-law) if we can rent it out with our budget. i know it was asking too much but there's no harm in asking eh?. i was so confident that we'll live in that place. but my husband told me, i should not be too comfortable of that thought because we don't know yet.  

i prayed to God,,, i asked Him to take away the desire if it's not for us. the desire is still there because I have to deliberately take it away from me. i placed everything into His hands...i told Him, "i don't want to be agressive anymore, have Your way."

to make the long story short...

we found a place that suits our budget and the best thing about it is the location. one will be surprised to see a 1 bedroom house rented out for only  *,*** in a village cum subdivision feel kapitolyo, pasig. amazing...

the promise for me is found in my previous blog...

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."

1 Corinthians 1:9

i myself could not fathom what God is doing to me and my family. i am not saying that everything is ironed-out. no, how can God be God if  we already know what the future holds for us. our tomorrow is still unclear. i sometimes feel that I am in a limbo because I have no way of knowing what will happen next. i don't have a regular job and the steady income that we receive will require strict budgeting. but i am not anybody's employee and so is my husband. we are working to please the most high God. He is our Boss! how can we ever go hungry???

i now understand why things in past happened to me. they always have bearing on what is happening today and in the future...

as my husband and I plus Nav start a new life, we have nothing with us but the confidence that God will see us through. He has prepared  a life for us that "no eyes have seen, no ears have heard and no mind has conceived."

 

Posted by: rbunsoy at Friday, November 21, 2003 | link | comments (1) |

it's amusing how i came up with something sensible while i was talking to Nav. one time, he was crying so hard because of hunger. as if dealing with an adult, i told him "okay Nav, Mom will prepare your milk, you don't have to cry so hard because you will get what you need. you just have to be patient. patience is something that you need to learn and it is spelled W-A-I-T." it came out spontaneously and it's just now that i realize how rich that thought can be.

when the baby came out, my world suddenly became very small. after living with our in-laws for almost three years, it's just now that i felt we need privacy as a family. i'm very thankful to my in-laws because of the great help they unconditionally rendered to us. they are indeed God's instruments in blessing us (me and my husband). i now realize what the Johnson and Johnson promotional slogan means - Having a baby changes everything. this is soooooooooo true. my world totally changed and i'm loving every part of it. motherhood is wonderful...you can forget about yourself because of the love you have for your child. A Mother's love is unfathomable if you are not a mother.

i am defying the principles of unity and coherence in writing an essay...

anyway, what i'm saying is, God is dealing me with my patience. i know in my heart that that message is not really for Nav...it's mine. I should be more patient and should be reminded of how it is spelled - W-A-I-T.

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him."

1 Corinthians 1:9

Posted by: rbunsoy at Monday, November 10, 2003 | link | comments |

It's been 11 days and I feel like it's forever. I want to spend each moment staring at my little one, Nav. I can't wait to see him grow, to hear him call me "Mommy", to feel his warm embrace, to pray with him, sing with him, swim with him, eat out and shop with him, go to church with him. Until now, I still can't believe I'm already a mother. I now understand what mothers say about being one. We already have a precious one whom God has entrusted to us. Nathanael  is our assignment. I feel anxious because of my own limitations but beyond that is the confidence that the reason why we are given this assignment is because God will empower us to do the task of parenting.

Lord, let me take each day one step at a time. Let us enjoy each moment with Your precious gift, Nav. Grant me patience to gracefully wait for things to unfold. Give us wisdom to raise this child in Your ways.

I often hear mothers dream big things for their new born baby. Doctor, pilot, singer, pastor, pianist, accountant, teacher,lawyer - and other things that may make a strong mark in the society. But I honestly don't have any specific dream for Nathanael. And surprisingly, when I asked my husband, he doesn't have any too. We just want him to live a life that's pleasing to God. Let God lead Him to the path He has prepared for Nav.

Posted by: rbunsoy at Saturday, November 01, 2003 | link | comments (2) |